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Pro-Ana-Mia Websites: NOT The Way To Love Who You Are
 The Axiom Of Respect Ellie and I are always pleased when we receive comments on our website. For the most part, we have never received anything too obnoxious or rude because (most of) our readers are thoughtful and sincere, and we appreciate their interest in what we are trying to do for our society. So we were saddened a few days ago, when we read the comment posted by "Yolanda," regarding pro-anorexia-bulimia (pro-ana-mia) websites. We felt that, unfortunately, we have been terribly misunderstood, so we want to take this opportunity to clear a few things up about our position and what motivates us to try to help our society. Apparently, Yolanda believes that we "have no idea" about being treated poorly by people who were supposed to love us and that we "need to take a serious look at society" because when we tell people that we all need to learn to love who we are, Ellie and I don't have a clue as to how hard that can be. We have no right to give such advice to "a young child suffering from obesity [ . . . ] who has been molested, raped, [and] belittled their entire life." Yolanda also is of the opinion that pro-anorexia-bulimia websites are just "sick people trying to help each other get better," providing a place to learn about a "variety of foods to eat and people to talk to and share pieces of mind." Obviously, Yolanda does not have an accurate picture of who we are, and we hope to correct this through this article: For legal reasons, Ellie and I cannot share the details of every aspect of our lives. However, please know that the reason we decided to write our book and create our website is because we want to reach out to those who have been hurt like us. We want to help our readers so that they do not have to learn life's lessons the hard way (like we did), and maybe our advice could even prevent them from allowing individuals who have hurt them to completely ruin their lives. Both of us have had to battle many different issues (abuse being one of them), and we feel that our life experiences qualify us to give advice and guidance to others. It is important to understand that just because someone has not experienced the exact struggle you have, that does not disqualify them from helping you or you learning from their mistakes and experiences. We may not have been raped, but we still have known pain. It is also important not to assume that someone else has not suffered. As Ellie's mom, Yolanda's comments bring forth a flood of (not so pleasant) emotions because she has no idea how much Ellie has had to deal with in her life battling anorexia, how hard she has worked to grow and recover from associated eating disorders, only to be faced now with an equally serious diagnosis of Celiac Disease, Dermatitis Herpetiformis, and the numerous and varied problems related to them. Yolanda believes that we "need to open our eyes and realize [life] is not perfect." Really? You think so? Our lives have been anything but easy, but our goal is not to wallow in our pain, but instead to work hard to do as Oprah has suggested, "Turn your pain into power!" So, to Yolanda: Please do not assume that we cannot understand your pain. We are sincerely sorry for what you have endured. We know that if you find the proper guidance, get to know your true self, and learn to treat yourself respectfully, and yes, love who you are, you will have a good life. However, searching for this help on a pro-anorexia-bulimia website is not the answer. While these sites may help to ease your pain temporarily, you need something much more to improve your health and well-being. Anorexia is an extremely serious condition. In the majority of cases, it requires professional guidance. A number of eating disorders are associated with anorexia, including binging (which seems to be your greatest concern), and you need specialized help to conquer them. In addition, you require professional care to overcome the deep wounds you have from being molested, raped, and belittled your entire life. You did not deserve any of that - and you must never define yourself by what others have done to you. I leave you with a quote from our book, and I hope you study it and meditate on it. Your challenge is to learn to know your true self and come to accept and love who you are inside, despite all your pain. If we can help you in any way, please do not hesitate to contact us. Your true self is not where you started, where you have been, or where you are going. You are not what people have done to you or what they have neglected to do. You are not who was in, or absent from, your life in the past or who is in, or absent from, your life now. Your true self is deeper and more fundamental than who and what surrounds you: It is your core. Anna Sherise
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