The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations
Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior
By Having Realistic Expectations
For Themselves, Their Lives, And Others

I got married to my wife three weeks ago.

All our family and friends were not invited. It was not held at a church or at a large banquet hall. We did not have decorations of flowers and streamers. Nor did we hire a band, wear tuxedos or white flowing dresses, eat too much, walk down the aisle, cut the cake, have a first dance, or have a reception line.

We got married in winter coats and jeans at the site of our first date (and kiss), in the parking lot of our favorite sushi restaurant. Pledges of undying love were given. One of our friends witnessed the signing of our marriage certificate. We exchanged rings. And that was it.

It took all of ten minutes, but it is the most fun I have had at a wedding.

I know there are many who would never dream of being married in such a way. When my wife and I were deciding what we would like to do for the wedding, we noticed in a bookstore that there were about ten magazines devoted to weddings - cakes, dresses, and locations.

The interesting thing is there was only one magazine devoted to what was truly important about weddings - the actual marriage itself.

The marriage - what is being celebrated on the wedding day - is often overlooked. Having the right dress, the right flowers, and the right seating arrangements to make your wedding day perfect is not what the celebration should be about. The wedding day is the union of two people, an agreement that they will be loyal and true to each other, will always try to work out problems and remain a team in facing everyday life.

To prepare for our marriage, my wife and I had spent countless hours talking about relationships, kids, expectations for each other, and even politics and religion. We read a wonderful book on being in a romantic relationship. We spent inordinate amounts of time together, struggling through life's problems one at a time - always emerging from the strife with a deeper trust and love for each other.

Please plan for your marriage before planning your wedding - I think you will find yourself much happier on your wedding day.

Rodger McMillan
Magna Sententia Weblog Contributor
Host of The Magna Sententia Podcast