The Axiom Of Respect
Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior
By Treating Themselves And Others Respectfully
And Respecting Only Those Who Earn It

A common discussion in our podcasts surrounds the trustworthiness of politicians - especially federal politicians. Quite often, Ellie and I take the side of most federal politicians being untrustworthy while Anna sticks to the view that most of them have the best intentions, but they are incapable or it is impossible for them to follow through on their lofty ambitions. Since this is such a disagreement, I decided to review what "Being Trustworthy" is from Magna Sententia.

To be trustworthy, one must be marked by dependability and loyalty. Dependability is doing what you say you will do when and how you say you will do it while loyalty is the quality of faithfulness and steadfast allegiance.

By this definition of trustworthiness, a politician should follow their campaign promises and try to implement them how and when they say they will implement them. Too often, I find that people make excuses for politicians, saying that they need to lie to the public during their campaigns in order to get elected. While this may be true, a politician who does this does not fit the definition of trustworthy.

A politician also needs to be loyal to be trustworthy. On the surface, this may seem a little harder to define, as it can be unclear exactly where a politician's allegiance should lie: Is a politician's allegiance to their constituents, the greater good, themselves, or even the lobbyists who financed the campaign that put them into power? This is probably the most interesting thing about trustworthiness: A person cannot be trustworthy if he or she has mixed loyalties. Politicians can't be dependable in both the eyes of their constituents and their financiers if these two groups have different objectives. When politicians make campaign promises, they need to make sure they are promising everyone the same things and then do what they said they would do.

The more I think about being trustworthy, the more it is obvious that who you are loyal to will determine whether or not you can be trustworthy. Are you more loyal to your wife or your drinking buddies? Are you more loyal to your siblings or the popular kids in school? Make sure you are giving your loyalty to the right people - the people who deserve it the most.

And you can be sure that I am going to print this out and have it next to my microphone during our next podcast.

Rodger McMillan
Magna Sententia Weblog Contributor
Host of The Magna Sententia Podcast

The Axiom Of Respect
Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior
By Treating Themselves And Others Respectfully
And Respecting Only Those Who Earn It

As much as I hate to admit, I am a big fan of Lady Gaga. I am not sure why she captures my attention so much: her crazy outfits, outlandish lyrics, or heavy, beat-driven music. Her music is definitely a bit naughty - and I always felt a little naughty listening to it - so I was really pleased to see her comments in "Lady Gaga's Message To Fans: 'Have Safe Sex.'"

Lady Gaga says:

I see [my fans] every night and they are so beautiful and precious and lovely, but some of them are insecure and very troubled and not confident. [. . .] I meet them and they cry, and they say "Gaga you make me feel like I belong."

And I think to myself about that one girl or those hundreds of thousands of girls who meet that guy at a club who makes them feel like they belong and they don't have that negotiation. We all know that having sex with a condom is a negotiation but it is Russian roulette.

I don't live in an era where you can sleep with whoever you want to sleep with. [. . .] You have to really be careful with yourself and get to know people and get tested before you have sex is very important.

This really sent me spinning: Lately, I have been meeting women who do not treat themselves respectfully. They give themselves so easily and cheaply. They do not value themselves or the meaning of giving themselves to someone else. The same applies to men I have been meeting as well. They do not understand that they are degrading themselves every time they engage in meaningless sex.

Treating yourself respectfully means that you treat yourself nicely. This means that you must do your utmost to rid yourself of caustic thoughts, such as "No one will ever love me," or "I am such a loser," and attempt to replace them with a positive inner monologue, such as "I only want to be with another person who respects me." It may seem like a lot of hard work at first, but treating yourself nicely becomes a habit the more you do it.

Rodger McMillan
Magna Sententia Weblog Contributor
Host of The Magna Sententia Podcast

The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations
Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior
By Having Realistic Expectations
For Themselves, Their Lives, And Others

I have a guilty pleasure that I am embarrassed to admit. I love looking at the various pictures and videos on FAIL Blog when I am taking a break at work. (You can visit the site here as long as you do not mind being exposed to crass "late night TV-like" humor.)

For the uninitiated, FAIL Blog documents the failures of mankind: a video of a man running into a glass window, an advertisement for "pumpkin and road kill" flavored ice cream, a hot air balloon knocking over a port-o-potty, a news article about a school that was placed on lockdown after a large burrito was mistaken for a weapon.

With content like this, some might say that FAIL Blog is a complete waste of time, but I think they are missing the point. The very best "fails" are those in which the people involved were trying their very hardest to succeed. FAIL Blog serves as a reminder to us all that sometimes our best efforts are simply not enough.

My life had been absolutely crazy lately. I have done more in the last year than most would have done in four or five. I have accomplished things that few people have done, and in everything, I have done my best. But there are other aspects of my life during this last year or so that I have failed miserably. I tried hard not to fail, but unfortunately, with all I was experiencing, I could not succeed. The sad fact of the matter is that I am just now realizing that some of these failures have occurred.

While it is unfortunate that I have failed in certain aspects of my life, I must remember to have realistic expectations for myself and follow Realistic Expectation Seven: "Only look backward if it helps you move forward." With all that was going on, I did the best I could do. The more I think about my situation, the more I am sure that I handled it the best I could with what I knew. There was no way I could have done better at that time.

I have learned from my failures, and I will apply what I have learned in the future. For now, I have to stop kicking myself for what was far too big for me to handle.

Rodger McMillan
Magna Sententia Weblog Contributor
Host of The Magna Sententia Podcast

The Axiom Of Responsibility
Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior
By Taking Responsibility
For Themselves And Their Children

I am finishing up a three day weekend during which, to the outside observer, I accomplished absolutely nothing: I spent most of the weekend in bed with my wife, sleeping, talking, and reading. Otherwise, we were in the kitchen fixing up food and talking even more.

Now, though it may look like we were simply blowing off our weekend, we were actually engaged in a really important activity - we were resting.

We have not had a break where we could sleep in bed all day for several months. We have been going all out, full bore, and nose to the grindstone. We have had weddings, trips, family illnesses, and friends in trouble. We have done Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s, and several birthdays.

The activity of resting falls under Magna Sententia’s Axiom of Responsibility in that you are taking care of yourself. Specifically, my wife and I are admitting and honoring our limitations.

Magna Sententia teaches us that more is not always better. If my wife and I kept up our busy schedule, we would have no time to bond and rest so that we can face new challenges and be the best versions of ourselves for each other.

That is where Magna Sententia is rather clever. You do not have to feel guilty when you take the occasional break from your busy life. You are resting so you can be a better and stronger person. Please take responsibility for yourself, and admit and honor your limitations!

Rodger McMillan
Magna Sententia Weblog Contributor
Host of The Magna Sententia Podcast

The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations
Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior
By Having Realistic Expectations
For Themselves, Their Lives, And Others

I got married to my wife three weeks ago.

All our family and friends were not invited. It was not held at a church or at a large banquet hall. We did not have decorations of flowers and streamers. Nor did we hire a band, wear tuxedos or white flowing dresses, eat too much, walk down the aisle, cut the cake, have a first dance, or have a reception line.

We got married in winter coats and jeans at the site of our first date (and kiss), in the parking lot of our favorite sushi restaurant. Pledges of undying love were given. One of our friends witnessed the signing of our marriage certificate. We exchanged rings. And that was it.

It took all of ten minutes, but it is the most fun I have had at a wedding.

I know there are many who would never dream of being married in such a way. When my wife and I were deciding what we would like to do for the wedding, we noticed in a bookstore that there were about ten magazines devoted to weddings - cakes, dresses, and locations.

The interesting thing is there was only one magazine devoted to what was truly important about weddings - the actual marriage itself.

The marriage - what is being celebrated on the wedding day - is often overlooked. Having the right dress, the right flowers, and the right seating arrangements to make your wedding day perfect is not what the celebration should be about. The wedding day is the union of two people, an agreement that they will be loyal and true to each other, will always try to work out problems and remain a team in facing everyday life.

To prepare for our marriage, my wife and I had spent countless hours talking about relationships, kids, expectations for each other, and even politics and religion. We read a wonderful book on being in a romantic relationship. We spent inordinate amounts of time together, struggling through life's problems one at a time - always emerging from the strife with a deeper trust and love for each other.

Please plan for your marriage before planning your wedding - I think you will find yourself much happier on your wedding day.

Rodger McMillan
Magna Sententia Weblog Contributor
Host of The Magna Sententia Podcast